The Day Harry James Potter Went Mad
by Ravenclaw2104
Summary: Just a little one-shot based off of a Tumblr post I found. Placed somewhere in between fifth and sixth year. Light swearing and complete crack. R/R!


AN: Hey guys, I'm working on the next chapter for Cigarette Smoke and Fire Whiskey Breath but I found this funny thing on tumblr and I wanted to make it into a little one-shot. This is totally just crack but I hope you enjoy it. There will be some swearing, so you younger folks should be cautious. R/R!

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER, J.K. ROWLING DOES.

It was a cold and rainy afternoon at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The griffindors were cooped up in the common room, trying to stay occupied. A group of teens sat by the fire talking quietly. One Ronald Weasley turned to his best friend of many years. "Harry," He questioned the boy, " Lemme see your glasses."  
Harry Potter looked at his friend. "Why in Merlin's name would you want my glasses for?" The bespectled teen shook his head and went back to the quiditch magazine. "I want to see how blind you are." Harry stared dumbly at Ron. "You want to see what?"  
"I would like to see how blind you are Harry. So if you would, hand over your glasses." The emerald eyed boy huffed and gave i=his glasses to his ginger friend. Ginny glanced at Harry and blushed a deep red, her face matching her hair. Without his specticles, Harry was very attractive, with his bright green eyes and his mignight black hair that just screams "I just had sex!"  
Ron looked ridiculous with the ugly wire frames on his face. "Harry holy shit you really are blind." He waved his hand in front his face and laughed. The black-haired wizard tried to glare at Ron, but ended up galring at the sofa beside him. The rest of the group laughed at the scene before them.  
" Ron I can't see a thing, can I have them back now?"  
" Hell no Harry, lemme see em Ron." Ginny snatched the glasses from her brother's face and put them on. In Harry's opinion, Ginny looked quite nice with the specticles on. Although he could really onlly see a samll red blob, but it was a nice blob all the same. " Harry, you are one of my closest friends, but how do you function with this kind of eyesight?" "That's what the glasses are for, so I can "function in society" as you so kindly put it. Now, can I have them back?" Harry said this all to the edge of the fire place, just beyond Ginny's head. He held out his hand expectantly but wasn't surpised when he saw a different hand, Neville's most likely, reach for the glasses. Round and round his specticles went, without ever reaching him.  
"Come on guys, can I PLEASE have my glasses back, I'd like to get back to my reading."  
"Mate, you're looking at pictures in a magazine, what are you reading?"  
"Ron give me my glasses. Now."  
"No."  
"Yes."  
"No."  
"No."  
"Yes."  
"Ha! There, now give me the damn glasses." Harry made a grab for Ron's face but tripped and fell to the floor. All of them, including Harry, laughed. "Here, old man." Ron handed the glasses to the boy on the floor. Once he put them on everything became clear again.

Many days later, Harry was quietly eating his breakfast. Word got around about the incident the other day. A group of slytherins walked up behind Harry and sat next to him. " Hey Potter," said the platnium blonde prat, Draco Malfoy. Malfoy plucked Harry's glasses from his face. The cycle started all over again. "Damn Potter, I've heard the rumors, but how the hell can you see with these?" "As I've said to more than a dozen people, I can see out of those glasses because they fit my perscription. Now let me eat my breakfast." The slytherins passed the glasses around and each one made a comment about his eyesight. As Harry blindly ate his oatmeal, he wondered why everyone was so enthralled with his eyesight. Yes, he did have poor vision, and yes with out his glasses he can't see two feet in front of him, but he was getting tired of everyone taking the one thing that can help him see.

For the next few weeks, everyone was asking for or just plain taking his glasses. When a timid fist year asked quietly to try them on, that was the last straw. He slammed his hands on the table and stood. "Okay listen up." The boy's voice echoed throughout the entire great hall, no spells needed. The hall was dead silent, listening to every word he spoke. " Recently, a bunch of kids have been stealing my glasses and telling me how blind I am. I've had these glasses since I was six years old. Yes I know that I have poor eyesight, there is no reason why I shouldn't know. The next fucking person who takes my glasses will see what I can do with these dumb things on my face." He took a deep breath and sat back down. Ron tapped him on the shoulder.  
"Uh, mate, are you alright?" Harry had a crazed look in his eyes.  
"I don't know Ron, do I look alright?" There was a faint beeping in the emerald eyed boy's ears. "Harry wake up."  
"Ron I'm already awake." Hermione gave Harry a mischievous grin. That was a bad sign. She jumped up and took his glasses, then made a run for it. Harry tired to catch her, but kept bummping into unexpected walls and people. "Mate you're going to be late for potions."  
"Not now Ron, Mione's got my glasses."

Harry woke up with a start, accidentally punching Ron in the gut. "GIVE ME MY GLASSES HERMIONE. I WON"T ASK AGAIN." Ron handed Harry his specticles, a bit worried for his friend.  
"Mate, your glasses are right here." Harry calmed slightly afterwards, but he was on edge all of breakfast. "Are you alright Harry, you seem a bit off?" "Yes Hermione, I'm fine." Harry turned towards a second year boy. "HEY. YOU THERE. I SEE YOU." For the rest of the day Harry kept his hands firmly on the frames of his glasses. In transfiguration, Ron leaned over and whispered to Hermione. "I think Harry's snapped. I saw him duct taping his glasses to his head. It isn't healthy."

A haggled Harry Potter stumbled into the common room at the end of the day, his whole outfit askew. "H-Hey guys." He walked slowly over to the fire and sat slowly. Fred and George looked at each other, smiling mischievously. "Harry, would you mind-"  
"-if we tried out-"  
"-your glasses?"  
A scream echoeed throughout the castle, making heads turn and birds fly from trees. That was the day Harry James Potter went mad. 


End file.
